There is a darkness behind you which you are guarding and protecting. It is like a jail which you have stepped out of but which is still so tangibly behind. You are afraid and may try to scare others away so that they do not have to see or feel what you have experienced. Sometimes you don't like others to know that you hurt because it makes them hurt or bothers people and you feel it is better to bear it on your own. This darkness may have been a long time ago for you are resolute and resigned to it's wrath. This is not a wholly negative situation, you are calm in your fear. You have faced up to it in many ways although there is still much healing to be done. You have a sense that everyone suffers and this is just your cross to bear, you are not overly bitter. You have a desire to help others who are suffering and will work practically and usefully toward this cause. The spirits want you to know they are with you every step of your journey protecting you and fighting for you, they do not judge you.